Saima says…hold on to your truth
Navigating change
I’ve noticed the topic of establishing healthy boundaries has come up a lot on my social feed at the end of this year. It might be that I’m resonating with it more now and so I’m noticing it more. The pandemic has forced most of us into a new lifestyle, and a new way to interact with those close to us. Our needs from others, will inevitably be misaligned with someone else’s expectations and needs from you. After all, you as an individual have different needs, so your toes are bound to be stepped on and vice versa. Here we have an opportunity to teach people how to respect you, establish our boundaries and negotiate differences.
Both of the posts below and their captions have really resonated with me.
Your truth
It doesn’t feel nice when you feel that your truth has been dismissed and not given any value for being true to you. I can appreciate it when we can “agree to disagree”, but what if you’re the only one OK with that and you’re truth is outright rejected as “Wrong”? Sometimes we feel like we have to submit ourselves to someone else’s reality to “hold the peace”, but is there peace if there is a cost to you?
Your body
I’ve learnt that supressing ourselves can have consequences not only on our mental wellbeing, but can impact our physical wellbeing over the long run too. You can map your ailments to the emotion it’s linked to.
For your own long term wellbeing it’s worth figuring out what you need to unapologetically look after you. After all you’re the only one that ultimately deals with the impact on your mind and body. It might not be easy, especially for conflict avoiders, but as my friend likes to quote, don’t light yourself on fire to keep others warm. So we turn to Allah for ease and guidance.
Your du’a (prayer)
I participated in the “raise your du’a challenge” with Sheikh Muhammed Al Shareef and there were lots of things that I learned around du’a and some of the typical personal blocks we may have in making du’a. One of the things that I learned that stuck is something Sheikh Ammar AlShukry narrated that Ibn Qayyim said
the heart of the one you turn to is in the hand of the one you turn away from.
When I feel misunderstood and find my words failing, then I should remember to turn to Allah for help, as everyone’s hearts are in the hands of Allah. Actually, I really should turn to Allah first. Allah is the turner of hearts, and he has the ultimate power, so it is Allah I turn to help me. Cue, the famous du’a of Musa AS.
“رَبِّ اشْرَحْ لِي صَدْرِي. وَيَسِّرْ لِي أَمْرِي. وَاحْلُلْ عُقْدَةً مِّن لِّسَانِي . يَفْقَهُوا قَوْلِي”
“My Lord, put my heart at peace for me and make my task easy for me and remove the knot from my tongue, that they may understand my speech. [20:25,26,27,28]
I also turn to Allah for guidance, acknowledging that I don’t know it all and Allah does. So I turn to him to guide me to what is right.
اللهم إني أسألك الهدى، والتقى، والعفاف، والغنى
O Allah! I beseech You for guidance, piety, chastity and contentment
I find strength in remembering that Allah SWT is Al Qadeer the one who is able to do all things.
If the entire world was given what they asked for, it would take nothing away from Allah just as a needle dipped into the ocean takes nothing away from it
I sincerely pray for guidance, ease in my task, the outcome I want and a way for it to link to helping me in the akhira (after life), and then I leave it to him to give me what he knows is best.
Saima says…may Allah SWT put understanding in all of our hearts
Saima Says 